The Atlantic article gets at so many things I experience everyday. I think my own generation, but most certainly those generations younger than mine, don't understand basic tenets of LIFE. And this is being passed down to the children they are now raising. I see this with people in their early 20s, who have been raised to believe they are special snowflakes (with no real rationalization behind it) and have never heard the word "no" or experienced failure. Which is so unbelievably unrealistic, I can't even wrap my head around it. How can parents be so short-sighted, to think that protecting your kids from "real life" until they're 18 years old is a good idea? Because... how are they going to continue to be protected from real life, and WHO is going to do that for them, when they get there?
A lot of people seem to think that they can actually "have it all" and that life doesn't involve sacrifices, or hard decisions. This confounds me. Unless you are wildly wealthy, there is no way to "have it all". And honestly, I think that for those who do seem to have it all, it doesn't make them happy (hence the rich, educated folks in the Atlantic article who feel empty inside).
For example, I don't have children and I probably never will. This is a decision my husband and I have made, based on what is best for us and our lives, and stemming from our personal goals. So I won't know what it feels like to be a mother. But I don't focus on that as something I'm "missing out on" because I'm not someone who thinks I need to have everything life could potentially offer me. I know, logically and truthfully, that if I were to have a child, I would be giving up a great deal of other things that I enjoy immensely about my life, and even more things to come for me. I have a wonderful new job at an organization that is practically drowning in resources and opportunity. I am going to get to do a great deal of both business and personal travel. I am probably going to start working toward (another) Masters degree, or maybe even a PhD, in 2012. I have money and free time, flexibility and mobility, lots of sleep and lots of parties, a fantastic marriage with the kindest, smartest, most loving and gifted man on earth, a little side business, a love of music and baking and gardening and fashion, and that's my life. And I adore it.
There are things I won't have - a big family, lots of nieces and nephews and kids growing up around me. I'm never going to have a "showcase" home (4 cats and a husband who prefers canoeing and geocaching to golf, and uses the dining room table to store power tools, precludes that). I won't live in the suburbs (arguably a "better" place than where I currently live, but that depends on your metrics). I probably (just being realistic) won't ever have a published novel, or some great collection of creative output to show for myself.
But I'm really happy. I don't expect my life to be perfect and I don't expect to excel at everything. My parents taught me to accept limitations and be realistic about life. I didn't come from a lot of money or unlimited resources. I was never good at math, and I suck at sports. I am just an OK singer, I could never be a programmer or engineer, and I can't draw or paint for shit. These are just realities, and I'm fine with them.
I guess the way I gauge my own happiness is not from the gestalt of life, but from the minutiae. The little everyday things: the sun on my face, a snuggly cat, a really good pear, kneading bread, getting good feedback at work. I try to pay attention to those things and through the course of a day or week or month or year, they add up into what I define as happiness.
I guess I've never before realized what a valuable, and enviable, skill that is.
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